“A friend told me that while fear and confusion often swirl around us, faith is straight ahead: I trusted that even though I didn’t know a thing about taking care of infants, toddlers, kids or teenagers, I would be shown the next step on a need-to-know basis. I trusted that other parents would help me every step of the way, and that if I did not keep secrets when motherhood was going particularly badly, there would be healing and enough understanding and stamina to get by. And this has proven to be true.
I thought that there would be a little more downtime.
That’s a good one.
I believed that at some point rather early on, a quiet confidence would inform me, and it did sometimes. But I was stunned by how afraid I felt all the time, too. My friend Ethan says that being a parent means you go through life with the invisible muzzle of a gun held to your head. You may have the greatest joy you ever dreamed of, but you will never again draw an untroubled breath.”